Things are as they should be.... (bernal heights) 38yr
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Thursday, 20 November, 2008 00:22 Expires On:
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Being in that angst-filled place brought me to this one and especially when you did not stay - you saved me (ironic). I am grateful beyond measure for each and every lesson and I do mean that more than you will ever know. Hopeful strong - having everything that I need right inside of me full present awake free - without need or attachment (perhaps some green tea and a peanut butter sandwich) - smelling the clean cool air every morning. Things are as they should be at this very moment and I could not have come to this place without having been through that one. And not holding on to the disdain (giving it over) and not wavering in my truth is just part of this beautiful evolutionary process - and I am lucky to be alive at this very moment (like I have been in so many others) grateful without judgment, but with empathy without guilt - being - learning diligent - modest careful - working hard in ways that I need to (because it will take work) - being filled with passion instead of fear as much as possible.
Sometimes hearing, I adore you, as her hand runs down my face against the scruff. Smiling, but not needing it - not from loneliness or ego just being and being careful. Reveling in solitude rather than clinging from loneliness. Reminding myself where I want to be, which might be right here, and who I want to become, which may be right here inside of me.
And I tell myself every morning - things are as they should be - regardless of the hurdles that lay before me and the loss that is behind me and this sets me free.
